I am so upset I know this has to be done Hubby is going to get the snip tomorrow I am at my whits end knowing we will not be having anymore children. I would love another but it really scares me as I will be 40 on the 9th of next month and I know if I got pregnant I would panic wondering what could go wrong probably nothing but I would be worried sick and get myself into a right state. Has anyone else had feelings like this before hubby gets the snip I feel as thou I will not get over this. I am greatfull for the 2 girls I have and that they are healthy.

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Loraine have you spoke to hubby about how you feel? He might feel the same as you do but I think you should talk to him about this, it does affect you both

I think you should talk to your hubby too, is he aware of your feelings. It's a big decision to make, one you should both be happy with.

Aw bless...just talk to your hubby and tell him how you feel! Does he really want to got through an operation that he may not need to have? If he doesn't want anymore, fine, but you could just be careful (if you know what I mean!) And then if by any chance you fell pregnant, it would be meant to happen (our way of looking at it!) & you can accept it.

Hi yes he knows and has told me he will cancel but we both know he is 46 next month and I will be 40 next month our girls are 5 and 10 and when we look at our ages and slowly getting are freedom back as the girls are getting older and it is another chapter in life has gone by.

Loraine a decision like this is very hard. I had my sterilisation at 37 and often wondered what if. You get used to the idea in the end.
As long as you and your hubby have made the decision together its the right one.
((( big Hugs ))) for you

Thanks giggsy and everyone else I am finding this hard as the family don't know and the way I feel at the moment I need to talk with someone outside the family if you know what I mean.

I never got a say in my operation, but thats another story

Have you talked to someone at the clinic or hospital? Maybe you could cancel it for now and have a real heart to heart with someone who knows all the ins and outs

Just a suggestion but I don't think he should have it done in the morning until you have both agreed with it, its not just for now its for life

quote:

Originally posted by Loraine:
Thanks giggsy and everyone else I am finding this hard as the family don't know and the way I feel at the moment I need to talk with someone outside the family if you know what I mean.

Loraine sometimes it helps to talk to strangers and lets face it ther is no one more stranger than us lot on here

I'm going to sound a bit harsh now but don't take it the wrong way, I'm assuming you both had to go and see the Dr for hubby to be getting this done as me and my hubby both had to meet with the Dr and he made sure I was all for it, if your unsure you should have spoken up then.

Is it the fact that you won't have the choice to have anymore what is bothering you more?

If your really that unsure about him having it done and you really think that your going to have another baby then you have to say to him not to have it done but if he doesn't have it done and then you don't plan another baby you'll have to go through all this again and possibly suffer the same anxieties so it would then be better to get it done now and plan your future and your little ones futures.

This is a big decision and I can see why it upsets you. Sit down with hubby and make a Pros and Cons list about why he should get this done. That will help you guys to talk more about this and make sure it's what you want. Also, I'm not sure, but isn't this procedure reversible? If it is still bothering you so much that it is upsetting maybe he should hold off on the procedure and you guys can use condoms instead. I'm just throwing things out there at you. Good luck!

Hi

I think you should tell him how you feel - he might be feeling exactly the same.

I was feeling like you and wanting another baby - I had my Son a few months ago and I'm 42. He is perfect so its not too late.

Take care of you

Love Michelle xx

I think that you might be feeling this way as it is all so final. You're not in the position anymore to say wouldn't it be nice to have another (once the op is done) and i think that is what might be scaring you. It doesn't help that yur children are growing up. If there is a small posibility that you and your hubby would ever consider having anymore then it might be best to hold off. My hubby is 42 and although we have decided that we would not have anymore there is always talk about wouldn't it be nice... whereas you can't really talk like that once the op has been done.

PLease talk to hubby, but i think that it is normal to feel this way and no matter what time in his life that you decided to have it done i think that you would always feel this way. Being mummies we all have that feeling of having babies and being there to protect them and feed them.

Sorry if i have not been of any help. I hope that you feel better soon. TAke care

I would dearly love another child and I will be 40 this year, hubbie is 44. I know that it isn't possible though with Edward as he is, but instead of one of having the op I went for the coil as I really couldn't stand the thought of things being so final even though I know we won't have another child.
I know where you are coming from, it seems the finality of it which you can't stand.
Have a good talk to hubbie, if there is any doubt he really shouldn't have it done.
Hope it works out ok for you.

Just look at the fact you've got two beautiful girls & how lucky you are to have them. Good Luck with your decisions & let us know which way you decide to go.

You've got two beautiful girls and now you can enjoy life a bit more. I had my op at 36 and it was the best thing I ever did!

even though i dont want anymore kids and know id freak if i found out i was preg (also it would be a miracle and id change my name to mary!!) i still couldnt go and finalise it by being steralised theres a part of me that thinks in 10 years id want a baby. like alison ive got a coil its like being steralised but easily removed

My father in law took hubby to the Hospital and he has had the snip this morning I have not stopped crying since he went I know we have done the right thing but I am even more ANGRY AND MORE UPSET NOW hubby said there were other wifes there and they were allowed to go in to the room with their husbands while they had there op I was not even told this at the time he had the pre op. Since this morning I don't know why and even since he has been home I don't want him near me and I can't even look at him. He has just come to bed I have just come down stairs I am still crying on and of can't even talk to him I just keep snapping at him.

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