with Fraser!!! He has picked up some naughty insulting words from some of the older children i mind and probably from my own two older children although they wont admit it.He calls anybody these words and its getting to the point that i am embarrassed about inviting people to my house .We have a noughty step which gets used very frequently but as soon as he comes off it he will call me these names.He three next month.Does anyone have any ideas?

Ive been a childminder for 9 years and ive never encountered this problem before.Its just a battle of wills at the moment.Its been going on for weeks now

Sorry to hear you're fast losing your patience Steph, I can't help much I'm afraid, but have you tried taking away things such as television time or treats that he might normally get? Just an idea, we usually don't need to actually stop Sammi doing things for it to have effect. Hope things get better soon for you

It is a difficult one, but I would ignore it as much as possible. The more attention he gets from saying the words the more he will do it. Lots of praise for saying nice things to people and ignore bad. I know this is easier said than done but has always worked for me, I work in daycare looking after children 6 weeks to 8 years so deal with it regularly

Ive tried to ignore it but the other children think its hilarious.We've tried taking away treats but he doesnt care,i guess he doesnt quite understand yet.I went into town with him last week and he called a woman 'Minger!' i was so mortified and she looked at me like i'm a terrible mum but i never swear or say insulting words

Does he have a favourite toy ? What about taking that away when he is naughty.

I'm thinking of trying a star chart but i'm not sure if hes too young.I guess i can only try

I don't think he's too young for a star chart, a great idea!!

He probably doesnt understand that they are insulting and just says them more coz the other children think it is funny. Good Luck!

quote:

Originally posted by Vikki Ann:
Does he have a favourite toy ? What about taking that away when he is naughty.

He has a bike and i guess i could try but i think he would forget about it after a while.I'll try it tomorrow and if that fails i'll try a star chart

He is the right age for a star chart and maybe a reward at the end of the week if the chart is full.

Sorry to hear of the prob with fraiser,we started a star chart with callum when he was 2 so no i dont think hes to young for one,after a while we didnt need to use the chart as he was so well behaved again and he eventually forgot about it.
Good luck and hope he clams down soon

Thanks everyone for your help,i will try the star chart tomorrow.He loves diego so can reward him with a new DVD if he can do well

only thing I can say is ignore the bad, praise the good, positive instead of negative. Like ' Shut the door quietly' instead od 'don't slam the door' Even if it's only using good manners, I always praised mine for doing it.

*admits to laffing at the 'minger' remark though

Reward charts are great, we still have one for DS and he's six now.

When he was at day nursery, we had a problem with him swearing even though we didn't swear in front of him.

With his old star chart, he would get a gold star if he had a whole day without any problems and a silver star if he had an ok day (although no stars if he swore even once). Once he got 5 gold stars, he got a train worth £5 for his Thomas takealong train set. So that the silver stars didn't go to waste, we agreed that 2 silver stars would equal 1 gold star. At first, he was getting mainly silver, but then when he started to realise just what rewards he could get, he really worked hard to behave.

The nursery were great with it as well. If Michael started to play up, they would remind him that he needed to be good to get a star.

When it got to just a few months before he was leaving nursery, he wanted more expensive treats, so we agreed that if he got 20 gold stars, he would get a Thomas takealong playset which were regularly more than £30.

When he left the day nursery and started at the local school, we changed the chart. It's now just an A4 sheet of card and any time he gets a sticker from his teacher, dentist or home for being good, he puts the sticker on the card and once it's full, he gets a treat worth £50+.

He also gets pocket money now as well when he helps around the house. The pocket money goes into his money box and goes towards spending money for daytrips out.

I would just ignore it! lol Connor tried that a while back and used to laugh cos the older ones thought it was funny! soon as they stopped laughing and we ignored it all stopped!

A star chart may be a good idea, as you say he does not understand the words he saying but the fact that you react to them is obviously why he continues, wishing you luck as its tricky with him being so young.

i had this prob with my daughter aged 5 shed curse and the 20yr old and 15yr old would go in fits f laughter i solved this in a wk i ignored dd5 and grounded the 15yr old and stop the 20yr old haveing friends in use phone ect

omg did it work with 24hrs when dd5 said minger/melvin/chave/ p- off / swivel ect the older two would correct her not laugh
THEY DONT LAUGH ENCOURAGE HER NOW

I have to laugh with Karen- it was my brother in law who taught our kids to swear. I would have punished him if I could!

My kids were a lot older and my DH put a drop of hot sauce on their tongues. They quit in a hurry. Also since they were older we took away favorite toys and such. I think for your little guy I would see how the star chart goes.

I can remember a friend years ago had a similar problem, she told her daughter that there was one really bad word she didn't know, but if she stopped using the other words she could use that one. She made up some stupid word which meant nothing, but her daughter used it all the time for ages with some strange looks on occasions, but nobody could take offence

We started a star chart today and so far fraser owes me 6 stars and has gained none hopefully a better day tomorrow